I was going to keep this blog very proper and professional but sitting here, trying to think best how to capture the emotions and thoughts that swirled in my head during the week and those that I will soon feel and face, and all I can come up with is -holy shit.
This is a very interesting 'holy shit', however. It is medley of exasperation, desperation, confusion, delusion, positivity, and negativity.
I prepared immensely up to my first day yet realized I still hadn't a clue what I was doing. Why I felt this way is attributable to several variables. The first is my students aren't native English speakers and I need to determine for myself what they can and cannot understand. It is challenging to discern what you are doing right and wrong when a minor language barrier exists and determining where it lies with each student is ongoing.
The second variable is directly related to the first -these kids are smart. According to other teachers my class is very bright and understands a great deal. Yet when I explain thing or try to get them to do something, like taking out a notebook, it feels as though I am speaking to students who do not understand a word I'm saying. I know the opposite is the truth so this is very frustrating and leaves me feeling helpless.
I believe a part of it is attributable to the procedures and ways they are used to. When I want them to get up and grab a book I'll say "Okay everyone, now it's alright if you get up and grab a book" yet they'll sit there for minutes unless I prompt them one or two more times. For awhile I believed they just didn't understand me. But now I'm much more inclined to believe that I am somehow confusing them with the way I choose to do things. The solution isn't cut and dry, both student and teacher will be learning about the other and what it takes to communicate effectively to the other.
They are also very literal and thus have strange ways of doing things. When I put notes on the board they ask what they need to write down (everything, dammit) and if it's okay to write down certain things from the board (no, if you draw my picture of planet Earth I'm going to set the desks on fire). Another problem is how slow they can be to take notes because they are being so careful and literal. For example, if I freehand draw a chart on the board, they will sit there with rulers and carefully duplicate it. If a line is off or they just don't like it, they whip out a whiteout, shake it for 7 hours and then paint. Recognizing an impediment to learning in the classroom I said next week begins my ban on pens. Confused and concerned, they said in all of their Thai classes they have to use pen. This was when I then realized that perhaps my ways of doing things was more the problem than their comprehension. Regardless of what they were writing with, I had to go around and show them it was okay to freehand the chart. Instead of taking just 2 or 3 minutes to draw this chart, it took 15 or 20.
They would also ask what to do if they could not fit the remainder of the chart on the page and at other times ask what to do if they run out of space while taking notes. Confused internally but outwardly just peachy I would explain they could continue the chart below or turn the page and continue their notes.
When I was discussing this event with two of the Thai teachers in the teachers lounge they said the students are so careful because the Thai teachers want them to be careful note takers and follow a particular format. This further cemented that my approach was off.
Another element of this 'holy shit' is my exposure to children and so many of them. I've been dealing with adults for what feels like my entire life and now I've got a bunch of aliens to figure out. I must figure out their academic brain, social brain, and much else.
It's all part of an evolving process.
Finally, at the beginning of the week I was in the phase where teacher is all rosy and living in a fantasy. By the end of the week after my own classroom experiences and speaking with the new and old teachers my authoritarian hand has gradually began to show and the steps necessary to teach and command the room are revealing themselves.
PE
My second grade P.E. class was fun. I let the children play soccer, kick the can, zombies, with rocks, and on the jungle gym.
My first grade P.E. class was insane. I learned that 1st graders have the attention span and behavioral tendencies of marbles. Fifteen minutes late to that PE class, I arrived and children were practically swinging from the chandeliers. We went outside and I tried to explain to them that we would do blah blah blah and could do blah blah blah (that's what they must've heard).
After failing to get them to get down from the slide they were running up and down and then off the trampoline I realized what I was doing felt like pleading with grass not to grow. As ever the master of understanding the complexity of the minds of marbles I went back to my room, grabbed a soccer ball and a dodge ball and threw them both on the field. The children screamed "yayyyyyyyy" and all chased after them. Now to get them to exercise I would snatch up the ball and many of them would try to chase me down. Problem solved.
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